My sons' fears are having a serious impact on our marriage and quality of life. Despite many counselling sessions over several years, they remain overly dependent. Particularly problematic is their fear of going to sleep in their room, without me (Mum) there. I don't stay in their room, but my absence inevitably results in visits to our bedroom every 10 minutes or so for an average of two hours after bedtime. (I usually just tell them to go back to bed, or walk them back to their bed and leave again, as advised by therapists.) This persistent behaviour seriously eats into our "couple" time. We also have frequent problems with school refusal, which are even more disruptive to family harmony.

These issues are definitely related to anxiety, rather than disobedience; we don't have any other behavioural issues. They're well-mannered and co-operative and get along well with each other and their peers; they're just exceedingly anxious. It erodes my confidence as a parent, and is taking its toll emotionally, as I feel completely "smothered".