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life
advice
What should I do?
I'm sixteen years old, I live in a middle class home, I go to a very good school and I have an over-all good life. Yet, for some reason I feel very empty inside. Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be in the field of science, archaeology specifically, but now I kinda want to go into the movie business. I have friends at school but I rarely see them outside of school and I don't feel very invested in their lives. The only emotional connection I feel towards my family members any more is guilt and I feel very sad because they all love me have high hopes for me and are always encouraging me. The only times I have ever felt happy these last three months are when I'm alone because I don't feel like I have to please anybody. But I'm also very scared when I'm alone because I'm worried about what decisions I'll make when I'm alone and for good reason too because I've caught myself trying to end it all twice now. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of disappointing those that rely on me. I know that it's probably just an emotional phase and that there are no clear answers to life but... I just really need someone to tell me something. Anything, that will help me understand my feelings right now.
lifeadvice
I would think long and hard about exactly why you feel guilt. If you can't understand it yourself, how do you expect a trained counsellor to get that information from your subconscious? If I had to guess, it would be because of the high expectations given to you, but life gives high expectations to everyone via the education and career system, so it looks like something more deep rooted with your childhood and how you were raised by your parents, peers, and the expectations you were routinely given as a child and how you were treat. I would also think long and hard about your self-esteem by asking what your childhood is like, what makes you happy, and whether what you want in life is what people want you to want in life.