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Does feminism make relationships (and men) disposable?

Men in general do not consider women disposable, and I assume making men disposable isn't liberation of women. It's just degradation of men.

Correct me if I am wrong. But I have often seen feminists talk about men(say ex. bfs) as objects or relationships and use-and-throw wraps.

I am an egalitarian. I love women. There were women whom I would have died for(metaphorically). Like all finite length relationships those are over, but I don't think lesser of them. There's anger and resentment, but I don't think they are just another girl I see on the street.

I do understand the importance of "not giving too much respect for men". but I don't understand the "disposable male" concept.
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tynamite
tynamite's avatar 90% of divorces are initiated by women

If the dating scene is skewed favourably towards females, why would women by a landslide choose divorce significantly more than men?
This shows that marriage has more scarcity to a male, and hence is more valuable to males.

Imagine how much a factor domestic violence against women is.
Imagine how much a factor alimony is into it.
Imagine how much a factor eloping is into it.
Imagine how much choosing the wrong man is into it.
It's silly to think that falling out of love or infidelity is a major factor, as then the figure would be closer to 50%. The factor comes from women's power.
A woman knows after divorcing a man she can easily find a new one from her pick of suitors.

Anyone who has spent time in a female environment, will know that women get approached for their phone numbers often. Also they can get 100 messages in 1 day after signing up for a dating account, whereas men can't. This makes women more valuable than men as they are more in demand. While women pick the man who is the cream of the crop, most of the men are ignored. The terms alpha male and beta male exist for a reason.

All giving women the right to work has done, is liberate women's sexuality.
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tynamite
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Devorah

In several of my relationships and several of my friends' they initiated because he was making life hell and wanted her to do it rather than HE be the bad guy. Marriage is not more scarce to males. Males have more opportunities as they get older, women do not.
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tynamite
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Me

Men grace with age, as the saying goes. Shame the same thing wasn't said for women.
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tynamite
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Devorah

I think society has preferred fertile girls over functional women. And the fact that men live longer means they have more options. But it has nothing to do with grace. I'm pretty convinced now that you're a troll, so I'm going to block you now. Good luck to you, you're going to need it.
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tynamite
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Ryan

1. Just because a guy wants a woman's phone number doesn't mean the guy is going to propose marriage or even be a considerate boyfriend. The vast majority of those interested guys will be looking for random hookups. Sex is sexually asymmetrical. For men, sex can a short, simple, pleasurable activity. For women, sex is an activity that historically could lead to the creation of a child that they have to bear for 9 months then give birth to at the cost of their health and maybe their life, and then raise. Even with modern birth control and medicine, from an emotional standpoint (and, to a lesser extent, a cultural standpoint) sex is for many women what it was hundreds of years ago when birth control was minimal and abortions were life threatening. Because of this, many women are more likely to get attached to sexual partners emotionally and are therefore not pursuing random hookups. There are, of course, exceptions.

2. As mentioned elsewhere, men have a longer dating window than women. The average 50 year old women has fewer dating options than the average 50 year old man.

3. While men and women can both be victims of domestic violence, it's more likely that women will be. I don't know how many divorces are caused by this, but it would account for some disparity.
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tynamite
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Me

If you wanted a woman's phone number because you found her sexually attractive, would it be fair for the woman to say "No because I don't go out with guys that base attraction with looks"? What if a woman wanted your number after calling you sexually attractive? Would you say the same thing? If an attractive girl in high school has 20 guys interested in her, shall the girl turn them all down because they're only interested in how she looks?

Looks are a major part of attraction. Women know this, and don't mind this. They would be happy to let a guy have their number, if she finds him sexually attractive too, even though she knows they both are only interested in each other due to sexual attraction.

A third of men would marry someone they do not love, a study has shown.

Men and women have access to contraception, so sex isn't life changing for them.

Why do men have a longer dating window than women?

I'll add that factor to my answer.
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tynamite
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Ryan

I'm not sure how some of your responses relate to the discussion, but I'll try to respond.

"would it be fair for the woman to say "No because I don't go out with guys that base attraction with looks"? "

If she wanted to. It's happened. Of course, people are unlikely to actually give their real reasons for turning someone down because there's a social backlash to rejection. But nobody has to be someone else's friend, let alone go on a date with them. There's a reason that they say "all's fair in love and war." A girl has every right not to be interested in a guy because she thinks he's too attractive and has too many options and won't stick around if that's what she wanted. Or just because she's not interested in a relationship at the time. And a fair bit of female sexual selection is related to social competency of one form or another. I'm not trying to argue how often this happens. I'm writing this because you used the word 'fair.' This is all fair. Honestly, I've heard of girls who went from fat to slim and then weren't interested in the guys who had rejected them when they were less attractive. Some women don't want superficial guys because those guys might not stick around if their looks turn. I don't know how this is related to the previous discussion, though.

"They would be happy to let a guy have their number, if she finds him sexually attractive too, even though she knows they both are only interested in each other due to sexual attraction."

That's true of some women. But there are exceptions.

"What if a woman wanted your number after calling you sexually attractive? Would you say the same thing?"

If I were single I might take the time to get to know the girl. I wouldn't marry anyone simply based on looks. And honestly, I'd be far, far more interested in a girl if we'd established some kind of intellectual connection first. I've dated a girl who was saludadictorian, one who graduated with an MD from Harvard and married one who got a near-perfect score on the GRE. So you can see my preferences. How likely is it that a girl off the street would fit that description? My dating strategies were probably closer to those of women because I tended to focus on relationships rather than sexual hookups.

"Men and women have access to contraception, so sex isn't life changing for them."

My point is to describe the environment in which people's emotions evolved. Sex is emotionally different for women (on average) than men (on average.) Hell, it's also socially different. I have a very attractive friend who has had sex with a large number of guys and complains about the negative attitudes men have towards that.

Sex changes relationships. It changes people's feelings. Women especially. There's a reason for that, and I'm trying to point to it.

"Why do men have a longer dating window than women?"

Older men typically date younger women and are considered to 'age better.' How many phone numbers does the average 50 year old woman get at a bar? Not the woman who's kept her looks, but the average 50 year old? Older men who are financially successful seem to be better at parlaying this success into romantic success than older women.
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tynamite
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Me

Going back to your earlier point of women having men only interested in a hookup and not a relationship or marriage, lots of them would happily do so if it meant they could have sex, and women don't have to face rejection as much as men do, so it's not the same. Men face rejection more often and go abroad to marry someone, which are two reasons why marriage is more scarce to a man.

Thirdly because marriage is relatively easy for women. A woman who divorced billionaire Warren Buffet ended up with a 10.5 million dollar mansion. When was the last time a man divorced a woman and got alimony off her?
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tynamite
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Ryan

My point was not whether lots of people would happily do a thing, but that the sexes view sex differently and why. If there's scarcity of a thing, it makes sense to step back and ask "Why is there scarcity?"

Also, I don't think that there's a generic man or woman. Are we comparing an unemployed man vs an unemployed woman? A rich man vs a rich woman? A fat man vs a fat woman? These things tilt the tables one directly or another. A poor woman will probably fare better than a poor man, for example. An economically successful woman looking for marriage may fare worse than a successful man.

"When was the last time a man divorced a woman and got alimony off her?"


Probably pretty recently

Why More Wives Are Paying Their Exes Big $$$

"Thirdly because marriage is relatively easy for women"

I don't see how alimony from Warren Buffet supports the argument that 'marriage is relatively easy for a woman.' I don't even know what 'easy' is supposed to mean. Easy to enter into? A relaxed lifestyle?
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tynamite
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Me

Now that men and women both have access to contraception, why do men and women think about sex differently?

I was talking about men and women in general. There will always be exceptions. I meant if you thought in the macro instead of the micro, instead of thinking about men and women as a group rather than individuals.

What I meant, is that it's easier for a woman to get a man's money, than it is for a man to get a woman's money. The term gold digger is associated with women and not men for a reason. That's what alimony from Warren Buffet has to do with it.

If you had 100 male billionaires, and 100 women billionaires, the male billionaires would attract more gold diggers more easily than the female billionaires would. This is why women have a better chance of entering marriage than men. If poor women have a better chance of being married to rich men, than poor men being married to rich women, then it shows how easier it is for women to get married.

This privilege spills into other areas such as finding love, or getting into a relationship.
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