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tynamite's answer « Do you ever wonder what people really want from you?
tynamite's avatar

Women are experts at wasting men's time

Women are experts at wasting men's time. Just because there's no sexual or romantic context to an interaction, doesn't mean that a woman can't waste a man's time. I don't let girls take me for granted.

If she doesn't value me, I'm gone. If she doesn't start conversations with me, I'm gone. If she doesn't do the thing that I test girls on to see if they're a fake friend (who just wants attention) or not, I'm gone.

People use me for entertainment

I'm either described as eccentric, quirky or weird, so people use me for entertainment purposes to make things interesting, as I'm a social catalyst.

Wanting to learn from me

Within 30-60 minutes of people meeting me, people say that I'm clever or intelligent. I have no idea why they say this, or why so soon? Because of this, there are people who will use me to learn information (about the world, life, mindset, philosophy and social skills) from me.

People often copy the words and phrases I use when I talk to them, and even my conversation topics and sense of humour. Also I was friends with a girl who had a notepad on her every time I spoke to her, and she would write things I say in her notepad. On the first day we spoke, within 30 minutes, she inadvertently said "I like talking to you in a selfish way".

I have an esoteric personality

People claim that I don't understand the full meaning or dynamic of conversations as if somehow I neglect people or am socially awkward, yet those very same people misjudge the people I'm speaking to and think I should act the same as everyone else.

What I mean is, they think that if I do the opposite of what I normally do, that I will make loads of friends.

Someone sees that I talk to people about "the darkness of the world" and "the peculiar differences people and companies have". They think if I do the complete opposite, asking personal questions about people's lives and opinions, that I'll make loads of friends.
Someone sees that I said something good about myself (for 1% of the conversation) or am talking about myself (because the person I'm talking to wants me to). They think that if I do the complete opposite, compliment the person and say I love them, and ask them to vent to me, that I'll make loads of friends.

How wrong they are!

I have done what they have told me to do. I have before acted like a bubbly, inquisitive, loving, kind, "free-love" hippie, listening person - and what happened? The very same result!!! I was not any more likely to make friends.

It's not the things I say to people, as I have before acted like a completely different person on cue. It's just me, my personality, my repertoire of thought. I can act like a different person over text chat (where voice and face is non-existent), changing the tone of my voice and the types of things I say, using opposite conversation methods and pair-bonding avenues - and I get the same result.
It's not the things I say. It's just me as a person.

What they don't realise is that I'm a polarising person. I'm either very popular and it's extreme, or very unpopular and its's extreme. Never inbetween!!! They think they know me, but they don't. There is a LOT more to my personality than their interaction with me. They don't know that people ALWAYS give me free stuff without asking for anything in return (even people of the same sex).

I adapt to the person I talk to. If they saw my interactions with others, they'd be surprised. I show a different side of me to each person. They think they know me, but they really don't. My personality is more complex than they realise!
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