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society
advice
What effective strategies do you use to differentiate between real and fake people?
Please share insights, if you have, that you use to distinguish real people from the pretentious ones. Try to be as specific as possible. Is it even possible?
societyadvice
As crazy as this sounds, one day you will learn this.
Have you ever heard of a confidence trick?
How to tell if someone is real, is to look for sincerity (ahem), but then again sincerity can be faked, so actually, you should look for care. The number 1 question to ask is...
Do they want to see me happy?
So for example, if you want to do something trivial that isn't harmful, you want to do X and said person finds it silly or more specifically wrong in an unacceptable manner, you can argue with them all you want about how you want to do it, but if said person is not happy to see you do it, they are fake. Some people confuse what love is, because people nowadays do all the right actions. It becomes systematic to give eye contact, empathy, listening, prompts, thoughts, interest, topics - all things we have as learnt behaviours. We can sometimes forget that the people around us deliberately attempt to do these things, rather than inadvertently. The 4 step plan is , niceness, acceptance, appreciation, kindness. How easy was it for you, when you saw someone with redeeming qualities, and you wanted to be their friend? Now what if you was fake, how would they know? They made it so easy for you.
Going back to my earlier point, the action of X could be anything, but it has to be strange, cross dressing, being a perfectionist, being obsessed with maths, just that they know that you are going to do it because you've told them that.
If they are not happy with you doing it, and look down on you as a person because of it, then they are fake and they do not care about you. Someone who truly does care about you, would be happy for you to do whatever it is you want to do.
Friendly people may seem, not everyone has love for everyone. Some people have a type of love that seems like love but isn't love. A parasitic love. A love that means that someone wants to encapture someone instead of embrace them. A love that is more emotionally dominating more than a mutual exchange. A love where people care more about you not listening to them, than what you have to say. If you meet someone like that, it doesn't nessacarily mean they're a bad person. When you give something, it reminds you of how little of it you have; and it can be painful to give love if you've been hurt, have trust issues, or are lonely or anything else like that. Instead of asking those basic questions of asking why someone never took an interest in you and your life so much, a better question would be whether that person treats your immaterial emotions worse than they treat physical objects.
In a sentence, it is impossible to tell who is fake, but you can tell who is real, but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith to find out whether someone truly cares about you or not, by letting them know what's on your mind; to see whether they are happy for you to be happy more than they would impose on you how you can do weird things for happiness.
If this doesn't make sense to you, you need to get better at life or ask me to explain it further to you. Coincidentally, another person from Quora asked me this question months ago via inbox who I'm mentoring, and she understood exactly what I meant. Too many people nowadays who I know have been betrayed, all my friends have, while I never have. This answer had to be long as people here don't understand me when I just explain the same thing in 1 sentence or paragraph.
The sort of information this question is asking, I cannot exactly write on a piece of paper with numbered ordered instructions, and ship it to addresses of the first 15 people I find in my News Feed. It's not like making a cup of tea, it's not systematic. There is no declarative knowledge here, it's procedural knowledge, knowledge of how to go about things, you need an peripheral understanding of people for that, not an operational one. I don't like these sorts of questions, as it's not possible for me or anyone else here to watch you live your life telling you what to do as you live it, so there's always going to be a disconnect between the words here and the environment there.
Other than that, pretentious, stuck up, two-faced people are easy to spot.
Just some thoughts.