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What do you do about a neighbor who is having sex too loudly?

I have never met my downstairs neighbors in a medium-sized apartment building, so I can't directly confront them without marching down to their apartment, knocking on the door, and telling them to use a gag or something.

Do you have sex with his girlfriend? That will teach him, right?

I've looked into getting a loud girlfriend who's DTF and an elliptical reflector dish, but I won't be able to obtain either in the forseeable future.

What do?

UPDATE: I tried a few of your suggestions, but to no avail. At last count, they're having a super-human amount of sex, 18 times the past week alone. Either that or they're running a sex club.
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tynamite
tynamite's avatar we can hear you having sex wifi network
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What's an assertion, and what should I type in?

Compesh is a question and answer (and debate) website, so before you make a debate, you better learn what an assertion is. I suppose you already know what a question is, and that you've typed it in the box. ;)

An assertion, is basically a statement you can make, that is either true or false.

Richer people have better health.

The question for that would be, Do richer people have better health?

And don't forget to make your assertion, match your question.

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